The Leaving Life Questionnaire

Brief Form -Less Text - MS Word-Form Version

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Choosing to deny or avoid the subject of death and dying ("D&D")

Not thinking about D&D could turn out to be a good choice. At the very least, you put off making a complex decision about a very unpleasant event; and, you may never have to make the decision at all... (See Choosing to deny or avoid thinking about D&D.)

I.1 Which of the following do you think are good reasons for you to avoid thinking about or planning for D&D:                     

There is a good chance I will die in my sleep.

There will be medical or other means to prevent my suffering so there is nothing I need to do except cooperate.

There will be trustworthy professionals or capable relatives to make plans and decisions for me.

 I am a person who reacts with strong, long-lasting anxiety or depression, and I would predict I would do so if I continue to explore this subject

 I are too afraid, the subject is too distasteful, depressing or morbid.

Other reasons:

If you do not want to pursue this subject any further, you can leave now or after any one of the next three questions...

I.2 If you do not plan for D&D, it is more likely that you will be kept alive as long as possible. Which of these beliefs that support this approach apply to you:

Since both I and my relatives and friends believe in the absolute sanctity of live and that any action or omission that shortens life is wrong or against the will of God, it will be a good thing if I am kept alive indefinitely, even if I am in a vegetative state or coma.

I believe that patients who appear to be unresponsive do know what is going on around them, so I will still be able to benefit from the attention of relatives and others who spend time with me.

Since there is continuing controversy over the definition of "brain dead", I want to wait until this is straightened out, so that I am not putting someone in the position of having to take my life while I am still, by someone's definition, alive.

Even if I would want to leave life when I couldn’t do anything or respond to anyone, the only ways that people can legally help me to do this are to turn off life support or to allow me to stop eating and drinking. In spite of evidence to the contrary, both these methods seem as though they would be very painful.

I.3 What are your reactions to the following scenarios which might occur if you didn’t plan for the end of your life:

Since I will not have communicated my wish to be allowed to leave life if I am unable to respond to anything or anyone (in a coma or vegetative state, as defined by brain activity), I will be kept alive indefinitely:

Since I will not have appointed someone to make medical decisions if I am unable to do so, I will be kept alive indefinitely, regardless of my level of functioning or brain activity:

Since I will be kept alive regardless of circumstances, my relatives and other people who care about me will suffer emotionally and perhaps financially:

I.4 What are your thoughts about exploring D&D a little further by:

... proceeding:

... talking to your doctor, lawyer and close relatives about end-of-life decisions:

... keeping your eyes and ears open for reports of changes in way the medical establishment can help ease suffering at the end of life:

... paying attention to indications that our culture is tolerating or encouraging people to take control of what happens to them at the end of life, rather than leaving it up to chance, the medical establishment, God, or the natural course of events:

I.5 If you are going to stop here: Do you think that any of the following could encourage you to continue exploring, now or in the future?

More time to get used to the topic.

Assurance that the physical and emotional suffering of the last stages of life can be reduced to acceptable levels.

Learning a way to reduce the anxiety that make thinking about D&D so difficult.

The availability of emotional support or advice from a professional or a group.

Seeing reports in the media that that our society is allowing people to have more control over their own D&D, if they wish.

Other:

What Happens Next ...

For those of you who are young: As you get older, you will be reminded more frequently that you have a life expectancy. You will notice the increasing attention paid to end-of-life issues by the medical and ethical professions and by the media.

As you proceed through the stages of your life, you will face many challenging problems. You will probably become stronger and better able to deal with the personal and social issues related to leaving life.

For all of us: Certainly, as time passes, D&D will become easier to deal with. Many people are working on ways to change the experience so that it is can be less painful physically and emotionally for you and for your survivors. Many people want more choices, and are working to deal with the problems that having more choices will bring.

For those of us who are going ahead: Let’s face it. Most of us don’t want to be here, beginning to consider something that is instinctually frightening yet inevitable. But maybe something worthwhile will result from trying to learn more about D&D and our reactions to it. Perhaps we will come out at the end of the journey a bit stronger. So, let’s go.