Evolution has equipped us with an instinct to
live that fuels a most intense fear of D&D. In our culture, this fear is
still managed mostly by avoidance, denial, faith or media white-wash. (With whom would you
rather have lunch: a minister, an undertaker, a forensic pathologist, or
none of the above?) Most of us
would prefer to avoid anything that vividly confronts us with our own
mortality, hopefully assuming that we will die painlessly in our sleep or
that others will make us comfortable as we leave life. This approach avoids
the anxiety and confusion about D&D that can accompany planning for these
events.
I think that the decision to not think
about D&D is OK. You may be the kind of person who becomes so anxious or
depressed when thinking about D&D that the reduction in suffering at the end
of life for yourself and for those you care about is not worth the effort. I
would feel even more comfortable with your decision if you would consider
revisiting the topic from time to time, just to see if your reaction is
different, or if there have been developments in the area which might make a
difference to you. So, the first question for you to consider is...
I.1 Which of the following do you think are good
reasons for you to avoid thinking about or planning for
D&D:
There is a good
chance I will die in my sleep.
There
will be medical or other means to prevent my suffering so there is
nothing I need to do except to cooperate.
There will be trustworthy professionals or capable relatives to make
plans and decisions for me.
I am a person who reacts with strong, persistent anxiety or
depression, and I would predict I would do so if I continue to explore
this subject
I are too
afraid, or the subject is too distasteful, depressing or morbid.
Other reasons:
If you do not want to pursue this subject any further, you can leave now
or after any one of the next three questions...
I.2 If you do not plan for D&D, it is more likely
that you will be kept alive as long as possible. Which of these beliefs that
support this approach apply to you:
Since both I
and my relatives and friends believe in the absolute sanctity of live
and that any action or omission that shortens life is wrong or against
the will of God, it will be a good thing if I am kept alive
indefinitely, even if I am in a vegetative state or coma.
I believe that patients who
appear to be unresponsive actually are are aware of what is going on
around them; therefore, I will still be able to benefit from the
attention of relatives and others who spend time with me.
Since there
is continuing controversy over when a person is dead, brain dead, or in
a permanently unresponsive state, I want to wait until these issues are
straightened out. I do not want to put someone else in the position of
having to take my life while I, by someone's definition, am still
alive.
Even if I would want to leave life at the point that I couldn’t do
anything or respond to anyone, the only ways that people can legally
help me to do this are to turn off life support or to allow me to stop
eating and drinking. In spite of evidence to the contrary, both these
methods seem as though they would be very painful.
I.3 What are your reactions
to the following scenarios which might occur if you didn’t plan for
the end of your life:
Since I will not have communicated my wish to be allowed to leave
life if I am unable to respond to anything or anyone (in a coma or
permanently unresponsive state, as defined by brain activity and
behavioral testing), I will be kept alive indefinitely:
Since I will not have appointed someone to make medical decisions if
I am unable to do so, I will be kept alive indefinitely, regardless of
my level of functioning or brainactivity:
Since I will be kept alive regardless of
circumstances, my relatives and other people who care about me may
suffer emotionally and perhaps financially:
I.4 What are your thoughts about exploring D&D a
little further by:
... proceeding further with the LLQ:
... talking to
your doctor, lawyer and close relatives about your end-of-life
decisions:
... keeping your eyes and ears open for reports
of changes in way the medical establishment can help ease suffering at the
end of life:
... paying attention to reports that our culture
is tolerating or encouraging people to take control of what happens to
them at the end of life, rather than leaving it up to chance, the medical
establishment, God, or the natural course of events:
I.5 If you are going to stop here: Do you think
that any of the following could encourage you to continue exploring D&D, now
or in the future?
More time to get used
to the topic.
Assurance that the physical and emotional suffering in the last stages
of life can be reduced to acceptable levels.
Learning a way to reduce the anxiety that makes thinking about D&D so
difficult.
The availability of emotional support or advice from a professional or
group.
Seeing reports in the media that that our society is allowing people
to have more control over their own D&D, if they so wish.
For those of you who are young: As you
get older, you will be reminded more frequently that you that you will not
live forever. You will notice the increasing attention paid to end-of-life
issues by the medical and ethical professions and by the media. As you
proceed through the stages of your life, you will face many challenging
problems. Hopefully, the strength you gain from meeting these challenges
will make you better able to deal with the personal and social issues
related to leaving life.
For all of us: Certainly, as time passes,
D&D will become easier to deal with. Many people are working on ways to
change the experience so that it is can be less painful physically and
emotionally for you and for your survivors. Many people want more choices,
and many are working to deal with the problems that having more choices will
bring.
For those of us who are going ahead: Let’s
face it. Most of us don’t want to be here, beginning to consider something
that is instinctually frightening yet inevitable. But maybe something
worthwhile will result from trying to learn more about D&D and our reactions
to it. Perhaps we will come out at the end of the journey a bit stronger.
So, let’s go ...