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Your experience with the D&D of others is another influence on your feelings and ideas about these events, as are the personality characteristics and the experiences you had as you were growing up that you thought about in the preceding section.
The questions that follow are a bit more likely to make you uncomfortable because they will bring to mind images of actual D&D. So, before we begin...
2.1 How did you feel as you responded to the questions in the previous section? How do you feel about proceeding:
2.2 If you are reluctant to proceed, would any of the following help you to feel more like doing so:
...having more time to get used to the topic
......assurance that your own exit from life need not be as painful as you now imagine it to be,
...getting emotional support and advice from a professional or from a group,
...finding out that there is new information on the process of leaving or on what happens after you leave,
...discovering that meditation, self hypnosis, medication, alcohol, religion, virtual reality or something else could reduce your anxiety about leaving life
...seeing more indications in the media that our culture is becoming more open about leaving life,
...learning that more people are taking steps to plan and to control their exit from life
...reading case histories of people who have dealt successfully their own D&D,
... agreeing more with the ideas or values that are implied in the questions in the LLQ.
Other things that could help:
If you are not going to continue, I’d invite you to visit 11: What to do with your responses to the LLQ, and 12:Moving away from D&D: Getting back to life as usual. If you have comments or suggestions for improving the LLQ, please go to Your reactions to the LLQ.
2.3 What thoughts and feelings do or have you had during funerals or when you have read obituaries:
I am unpleasantly reminded of my own mortality.
I wonder if the process of leaving was painful for the person and the survivors.
I assume that the process of leaving was very painful for the person and the survivors.
I feel a sense of relief that the person is at peace and the survivors no longer need to suffer with her or him and can move ahead with their lives.
I do not like the funerals I have been to, for these reasons:
2.4 What ideas or feelings have you had when someone close to you has left life:
I felt painfully sorry that I would never see the person again. The pain has not gone away.
At the time, I felt intensely sorry that I would never see the person again, but the pain has mostly or completely gone away, leaving just the memories.
I believed that I would still be able to be in contact with the person, even though he or she was gone.
I believed that I would see the person again when I left life.
Other thoughts or feelings:
2.5 Do you sometimes like to be sad? What does being sad do for you:
I am not sure. I just feel better afterwards.
Research has suggested that crying helps recover from stress by eliminating toxins from the body.
The punishment of being sad relieves my guilt.
Feeling sad is part of living fully.
The relief when the sadness is over is worth the pain.
Other things being sad might do for you:
2.6 Have you ever been with a person during the last stages of his life? What are some of the reactions you observed in that person:
Depression
Fear
Anger
Confusion
Resignation
Peaceful acceptance
Joy
What was your response to these reactions? Were you concerned or surprised:
2.7 Did you notice any of these processes or changes:
Preoccupation with physical or emotional pain.
Strong interest in spiritual matters, such as the meaning of life and what happens after we leave.
Detachment from physical surroundings and from people.
Change in values or opinions.
Changes in the way the person responded to or talked with the people around them.
Change to the extent that the person no longer seemed like the person you once knew.
Other processes or changes:
2.8 What did you think or feel about these changes:
2.9 What do you think of the treatment he or she received:
Doctors and other professionals handled the dying person’s physical and emotional pain well. I would want the same kind of treatment for myself and for those close to me.
The physical and emotional pain of the person leaving were not handled well. I am concerned that I or those close to me will be subjected to the same kind of treatment.
Anything else:
2.10 What help was given to his or her survivors:
Relatives were given the practical help and emotional support they needed before and after their loved one left life.
Relatives were given a lot of support and attention before and at the time, but were left alone soon after the funeral.
There was little special attention paid to the survivors.
2.11 What suggestions do you have for improvements in the treatment of the person leaving or of the person's survivors:
Better medication for physical or emotional pain.
Better nursing or medical care.
Better spiritual counseling.
Better psychological counseling.
More comfortable or pleasant surroundings.
More attention to needs for personal dignity.
More opportunity to resolve “unfinished business” with survivors, such as unresolved conflicts or the expression of unspoken feelings of love or respect.
An opportunity to review one’s life in order to find meaning in it.
Better support for the survivors during or after the time when the person was leaving life. (For example, helping people to know how to act with a person who is suffering or about to leave life, and what to expect during and after the person leaves; helping them to grieve by listening to them express their feelings and memories over and over.)
Other suggestions for improvements in the treatment of persons who are leaving or their survivors: