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People differ in the way they react to emotionally-charged problems such as those presented by D&D.
At one end of the scale are problem repressors who try to avoid or deny problems and to suppress the emotions that go along with them. The repressor benefits from not worrying about things until he must.
At the other extreme are the problem vigilantes who are always on the lookout for something that might go wrong. Anxiety accompanies both this vigilance and the problem-solving attempts that follow. When a vigilante resolves a problem, there can be a sense of accomplishment as well as relief from anxiety. But, there will soon be another problem on the horizon ...
1.1 Where on the problem vigilante-repressor scale are you?
Problem vigilante:
That’s definitely me
I’m somewhat that way
I’m in the middle. I pay attention only to important problems.
Problem repressor:
That’s me
Comments:
People differ in how readily they respond to problems with anxiety or with moodiness-depression. Note that these describe a person who is especially prone to react, rather than a person who is always feeling one of these ways. So, when things are going well, a person with a high potential to react might not be anxious or depressed, but would be to an unusual degree when things are going badly.
1.2 How prone are you to respond to problems or stress with:
Anxiety
Very ...
Somewhat ...
Not very ...
Moodiness-Depression
1.3 How big a problem are anxiety and moodiness-depression for you:
Anxiety is a big problem for me
Anxiety is somewhat of a problem
Anxiety is mostly at acceptable levels
Anxiety is not a problem.
Moodiness is a big problem for me
Moodiness is somewhat of a problem
Moodiness is mostly at acceptable levels
Moodiness is not a problem.
1.4 How impulsive are you?
Impulsivity is the tendency to skip planning and consideration of consequences before taking action. The impulsive person might feel an internal pressure to do something right away, or he may not know how to plan.
Impulsivity
I am often impulsive
I am sometimes impulsive
I am rarely impulsive
I am almost never impulsive
1.5 How much of a risk taker are you?
Risk-taking is different from impulsivity in that it assumes some awareness that a risk is being taken. Most our lives are not filled with risk, but you can probably think of a few times when you may have risked a job, or a relationship, or when you decided that the thrill of a dangerous activity was worth the possibility of harm. The opposite of a risk-taker would be a person who seeks safety or security, even at the cost of boredom:
Risk-taking
I crave the thrill of taking risks and seek them out
I don’t shy away from taking risks
I am very careful about taking risks
I avoid taking risks
1.6 Have you ever thought that you might be too extreme on any of the above characteristics? Have you ever tried to change:
Changes in the above characteristics could make a difference in your reactions to D&D, as follows:
Reducing anxiety or moodiness can decrease the desire to leave life.
Toning down impulsivity, repression, anxiety and moodiness can make you more comfortable with thinking about and planning for D&D.
A willingness to take risks could translate into a willingness to take your chances with an unknown afterlife.
The problem repressor's ability to not worry about a problem like D&D could be quite useful. He might be more willing to work on something unpleasant if he knows he can stop thinking about it when he wants
Your place on the vigilante-repressor scale and your readiness to respond with anxiety or moodiness can also affect your reactions to the rest of the LLQ. If you are a highly anxious or moody problem vigilante, you may be upset by the questions and have a more difficult time forgetting about the thoughts and images the questions evoke.
If you are an anxious or moody problem vigilante you may want to check section 12: Moving away from D&D; Returning to life as usual to see whether the suggestions there would work for you. If you are not good at putting problems aside when you want to, maybe you'd be better off not thinking about D&D, as discussed the Prelude: Choosing to not think about or plan for D&D. Keep in mind, though, that the questions proceed from least- to most anxiety provoking, and you can stop at any point.
In figuring out what to do during the next hour, day, week or stage of our lives, most of us use some variation of the Western scientific approach to decision-making:
1) First, we make enough observations to predict the results of different courses of action.
2) Then, we look over our observations, and figure out the costs and benefits of each alternative.
We can explain our decision by talking about cause and effect in a logical way. Others can understand what we are saying and evaluate our conclusions using the widely held rules for observation and analysis.
There are other channels people use to tune into different realities, and other ways to process whatever data that reality provides. Instead of reason, some people base their choice of what to do next on instinct, habit or addiction. They may depend on intuition, which can be described as listening to feelings or to your inner self.
You can also let others define your reality for you. For example, you can live in a reality suggested by a religious authority, guru or other charismatic leader or teacher.
There are also different ways to process the same set of observations. Liberal politicians, fundamentalist preachers, academic pundits and hormonal teenagers will come to different conclusions about the same set of circumstances, and will act very differently.
In the case of D&D, it seems that information vitally important in deciding what to do in the last stage of our lives is missing: We do not know what the consequences of acting a certain way while alive will be for what happens afterwards. There are numerous – some would say infinite – possibilities. You can imagine that some after-life scenarios would lead us to cling to life until the last possible moment, while others would reduce or eliminate fear of leaving.
So, the question becomes: What do we do when our usual method of decision-making cannot be used because there is no way to get information on the consequences of different courses of action?
1.7 What do you do when you must act and you don’t have enough information to make a decision based on evidence:
I rely on intuition or I listen to my feelings,
I depend on God or Fate to show me the way,
I rely on an expert or authority whose advice must be taken on trust,
I try to relax and let nature takes its course,
I persist in looking for reliable, observable evidence on which to base my decision,
I have these other beliefs that would apply in this situation :
1.8 Do you have ideas about D&D that are based on faith in God or in some other authority? For example, what does your faith say about leaving life voluntarily when you are terminally ill and suffering:
1.9 Does your faith say that suffering is ennobling or has other positive meaning? Would you be willing to suffer or to encourage others to suffer at the end of life to follow this teaching:
1.10 What do you believe happens after you leave life:
1.11 Is your belief in good afterlife strong enough to support a decision to leave life if it were for a good cause? Would there be circumstances in which you would become a martyr:
1.12 What impressions about D&D did you get when you were growing up from:
Your family. How did your parents answer your questions about what happens after we die :
Your teachers in regular school, Sunday school or college: :
Friends:
TV, movies, books or other media:
Funerals or other D&D rituals:
Personal experience with the D&D of people or animals who were not close to you, such as: people in your neighborhood who died, accident victims, people who had heart attacks or strokes in public, seeing animals killed in the street or in the wild, other situations:
1.13 Are there books, TV shows, movies, philosophers, ministers or other people who are currently influencing your ideas or feelings about D&D:
1.14 What messages do the TV, films or other media send about these aspects of D&D:
1.15 What has been your emotional reaction to D&D in dramas or descriptions of real D&D in books, movies or TV:
1.16 How could parents, teachers, ministers or the media do a better job of teaching about D&D:
1.17 If your work or daily life brings you into regular contact with D&D, you can answer these next two questions:
· What effect does this contact have on your ideas and feelings about your own exit:
· Did your decision to do this work or spend your time this way have anything to do with its involvement with D&D:
1.18 How do you react when others bring up the subject of D&D:
1.19 Do you ever bring it up yourself? What reactions do you get:
1.20 Have you had dreams or fantasies about D&D? Are the images pleasant or unpleasant? (For example: “I was dying on my bed, and ...”, or “After I was gone, I imagined that I was ...,” or “Afterwards, I imagined that people ...”):
1.21 Why do you think that contemplating D&D is so difficult:
Leaving life is often physically and emotionally painful.
Leaving life means parting from those we love.
Most people enjoy living and want it to continue.
People don’t want to miss anything.
People are afraid that the afterlife might be a terrible experience that will last forever: God may not be kind; we may end up in Hell for being bad; we may be able to see what happens on earth after we are gone.
People don’t talk, think, read about or otherwise come in contact with D&D enough to get used to it.
The fear of death has evolved to become about the strongest instinct there is. This has happened because those with a strong life instinct tend to survive to reproduce and add more of the genes for this instinct to the gene pool.
Other reasons:
1.22 What do you think keeps you from planning for D&D:
The instinctual fear of D&D, plus imagining physical and emotional pain, along with thinking about parting from those I love are too unpleasant for me to think about.
All kinds of experts – medical, ethical, religious, and scientific – are working on problems related to D&D. If I try to figure things out or plan without their background and training, I’ll just get frustrated and upset.
Elements crucial to dealing with the problem ( knowing what happens after we leave, how to deal with some kinds of physical and emotional pain, including the pain of separation) will always be missing, so what’s the point?
I am the kind of person who lives in the present.
I'm too busy with living!
1.23 Can you think of any ways that people might become less sensitive to D&D? For example, how do you think it would work to have a group of people discuss their ideas and feelings about leaving life in a group or class. How should the teacher or group leader handle people's discomfort with the topic:
1.24 Should certain aspects of D&D be a part of public school or college education. At what age are children ready to learn about D&D. How should D&D be presented to children of different ages: